"The Trouble With Getting Old"

My birthday is a week away - amazing how fast birthdays arrive as we age. "Life is like a roll of toilet paper - the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes!".

Here are some other thoughts and reflections I have on aging.

- The good die young and the rest of us God wants to torture as long as possible.

- When I was young: "So many women - so little time", and now it has come down to - "Too many doctors - too little time"!

- It does seem that with age and experience we gain in wisdom, but at this rate I am only going to figure everything out just before I die!

- When I moved to Central America at age 26 my life insurance premiums doubled. I argued with the insurance company, but they justified the premium bump because life expectancy in Honduras was 46 years of age. So I dropping the policy and saved a lot of money over the last 47 years! And - I always considered life insurance as a bet that I will not live long - the only way to collect that bet is to die! Doing things against my own self interest never made sense - like voting for Republicans!

- Signs that you are getting old; your teeth, hair and hemorrhoids keep falling out!

- Some of my peers seem to be concerned about regrets. Having never belonged to the 'shoulda/woulda/coulda' crowd, I am happy to say I have few regrets, and do not lose sleep over the few that I do have, or miss out on any opportunity to take a nap!

- One difference between youth and old age: first you eat to live, and then you live to eat.

- If anything negative from the past is catching up with me it is skin cancer from all the terrible sun burns I experienced in the tropics. Who knew about sun block in 1970? The aches and pains of past injuries I might suffer in my old age are just reminders of an adventurous life and not likely to kill me, but melanoma might do me in.

- As we get old some of us become more patient, some of us less patient, and of course many of us become patients.

- As we age we see more and more people we know passing on. The bad news - some were good friends, the good news - some were not such good friends.

- My wife is always reminding me of her own infallible memory, which at great peril, I seldom question. I seem to be good at long term memory, and I am good with short term memory when I remember to take my memory pills.

- Too many old drivers take forever to get their car moving and forever to stop it. Some advise for old drivers: if you are hearing a lot of cars honking their horns and see the other drivers constantly making nasty hand gestures - you might consider giving up the car keys. I have never equated my sense of independence with owning and driving a car. I love being chauffeured around and letting someone else deal with the road stress. I can always show my independence by being stubborn.

- When people complain to me about getting old I ask them: "What is the alternative?".

To all my family and friends - may your birthdays be happy and healthy ones - and plentiful!